Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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