Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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