I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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