i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if only i could text you this smell
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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