i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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