I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
