He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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