omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
