so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
