i don't like sucking hair
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
