she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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