well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
