You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
