You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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