she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
