Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
