you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
