pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
