Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
