I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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