watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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