if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
