you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
