how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
