Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i wish my penis had a tongue
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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