ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
