I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
