Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
