Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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