I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
