My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
