Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
