I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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