Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
