I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
