i always forget guys have bellybuttons
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
