I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
