She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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