I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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