well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
