Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
