Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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