She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
