i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
