So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
