I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
being pregnant is like rehab
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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