I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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