She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Randomize
