Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
