I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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