Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She's the barista slut.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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