Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
